Yellow and Blue
May 21, 2019
00:00
Yellow and red is orange.
Benito and Paulina had a beautiful sunset marriage. He was yellow, she was red, and together they made orange. Then tragically Paulina died. Later Benito married Victoria and he assumed this marriage would be like the first one. But his yellow and Victoria’s blue made green. Not orange. Every marriage has its own unique color and your job is to respect it, not try to paint over it. This means Benito can’t restore what was lost but he can accept another beautiful family portrait.
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If nothing else, act like you know what you’re doing.
A high school baseball umpire unexpectantly found himself umping a college game and he wasn’t prepared. The chief umpire told him, “I don’t care if you make the right call or not, just be in the right position, and make the call with authority.” That’s pretty good advice for parents and stepparents. Be in the right position: Be engaged in your child's life. And make the call with authority: We don’t always know best but when we lead with certainty, we manage the game and keep the players safe.
May 20, 2019
To those serving us, we want to serve.
As we celebrate Armed Forces Day, be mindful of our military personnel in blended families who not only take great risk but face unique family challenges: increased stress when biological parents are deployed and stepparents are left by themselves; increased anxiety when lots of relocations move parents away from their kids, increased tension when the demands of military life make family bonding difficult. To the brave men and women of our armed forces, we see your sacrifice and we pray for you.
May 17, 2019
“Against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5:23)
Have you ever noticed that when we act in accordance to the Spirit of God, no one complains? Who has a problem with people who are kind, loving, and self-controlled? The Bible says no one makes a law against that. Proverbs 16 tells us when we live in ways that please the LORD, even our enemies come to be at peace with us. For some relationships peace is a long rode but there is no better way to order our lives. Here’s how it starts: Let the next thing you do reflect the heart of Christ.
May 16, 2019
“Mom, you always let me go before. You’re just saying, ’No’ now because he wants you to.”
Kids are really good about buying us tickets for a guilt trip. I mean, guilt is one of the child’s best tools to get what they want, right? It can be especially effective in stepfamilies. You’ve brought a stepparent into their lives and now the rules are changing. If you as the parent feel a little guilty about it the child can capitalize on your guilt. So, what do you do? Well, first strive for unity as a parenting team at all costs and then admit that things have changed but don’t give in.
May 15, 2019
Here’s a blended family ministry tip everyone can do.
At a Summit on Stepfamily Ministry, Family Pastor and stepdad Dave Bondeson encouraged people to listen to the stories of blended families. In this day and age, being known and accepted for who you are—not who your sanitized Instagram image says you are—is a rare thing and really appreciated. Listening, even leaning in to the tensions that may exist, helps families feel they are not alone. They’re not isolated, having to figure it all out for themselves. Having that friend, is a grace of God.
May 14, 2019
Do you ever get confused about who Jesus was? Yeah, me, too.
We’re in good company. John the Baptist called people back to God, but in Luke 7 he got a little confused, too. “Are you the One?” he asked. Jesus wasn't offended by his question. He even compliments the part of John that was faithful. But then he declares, yes, I am the Messiah—Savior—and the miracles prove it. You and I may not understand everything Jesus taught or why his life unfolded the way it did, but lean into this: He is the King; He is worthy of your trust and to be Lord of your life.
May 13, 2019
Got a strained family relationship? Maybe it’s time you wrote them a tribute.
But we don’t have a good relationship. Why would I write them a tribute? Sometimes you have to write one to find appreciation. My friend wrote a tribute to her stepmom. They didn’t have the best relationship but giving thoughtful consideration to all her stepmom had done for her opened the door first to healing and forgiveness in her own heart; and secondly the things she shared led to new conversations and ultimately to a better relationship. Maybe choosing gratitude will do the same for you.
May 10, 2019
Stepfamilies have a few financial landmines: don’t step on them.
According to Patricia Estess, the first landmine is relying too heavily on a former spouse for child support. Being dependent makes you vulnerable. The second is skimping on the new family and spending on the old. Throwing money at your kids won’t erase guilt or make up for lost time. Honor all your commitments equally. And third, don't have two different financial standards. Share your resources and treat everyone the same. When it comes to monetary landmines in stepfamilies, step around them.
May 9, 2019
Today let me share reason number 642 why stepparents need a hug.
One stepmom was pleasantly surprised when her two oldest stepdaughters gave her a card on Mother’s Day. It read, “Everyone needs a back-up mom. You’re mine!” What a huge compliment. She was beaming from ear to ear. So, why does she need a hug? Because this stepmom’s other two stepchildren didn’t acknowledge her at all on Mother’s Day. Not a word. So which is it? Is she accepted or rejected? A part of the family or pushed aside? Ambiguity is a stepparent’s middle name. That’s why they need a hug.
May 8, 2019
When you live like Jesus, you make a difference in someone’s life.
Being Christ-like in our daily lives leaves an indelible mark especially when our actions stand in direct contrast to others. Growing up, Mandy had a Mom and stepmom. Her mom always spoke critically of her dad. She immediately noticed a difference when her stepmom came into her life. She spoke to her dad with respect and warmth and her devotion to him made an intense impression. Today, Mandy is a loving wife because of her obedient stepmom. Does our behavior impact others? You bet it does.
May 7, 2019
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Blended & Blessed®
Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.