What the Bible Says About Your Worth
February 9, 2021
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I know what your enemies say about you, but what does Scripture say about your worth? Self-esteem is a good thing but God-esteem is even better. In the Bible, 2 Corinthians 5-6 says that in Christ we are the righteousness of God, that God is our father and we are his sons and daughters. Ephesians 2 says we are alive in Christ; a dwelling place for the Holy Spirit. So, who are you? You are loved and forgiven, a child of the King. Worthy of respect and love. A gift, ready and able to give yourself in the service of others. Now that’s the truth. Why don’t we start living it?
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How does being loved by God help you to love others? Have you noticed that loving God and being loved by God helps us to love others and vice versa. So, when I rest in my love relationship with God, I won’t idolize someone else’s love for me because I’m already loved. Conflict stings a little less. Apologies come more quickly. Forgiveness is easier to grant. And self-respect shows itself in both sacrifice and sometimes saying, “No.” In stepfamilies, resting in God’s love provides stability and gives you a sense of worth even when rejected.
February 8, 2021
You know, we really shouldn’t be surprised when our children misbehave. Why not? Well, because in the Bible Proverbs 22 says, ”Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.” This verse reminds me of the parent educator who said we spend the first 18 months of our child’s life meeting their every desire, and then spend the next 18 years trying to get that expectation out of them. But that’s the good news of this verse—moral teaching drives foolishness away. Be encouraged parents and stepparents and just stay after it.
February 5, 2021
Here’s a dilemma: How do you find permanence in a relationship without making a permanent commitment? You know what a wedding is, right? It’s the day a man and a woman draw a line in the sand and step over it together. I’ve heard some people argue that living with someone is essentially the same thing. Then I say, “Oh, so it won’t matter is you go ahead and get married then.” To which they start backpedaling pretty fast. People intuitively know that marriage is different. Paper may not make a difference, but commitment does. Do you want permanence? Choose permanence.
February 4, 2021
Family meetings. It might be worth trying. Some of you have already benefitted from my article on family meetings. This testimony from a stepdad explains why they can be so much more than just a meeting. “We started family meetings by necessity,” he told me. “We kept running into walls with the kids so we decided to get together and talk about it. At first the meetings were all problem centered. But then we realized we could get proactive. Now, looking back it did more than solve problems. We figured out how to be a family.”
February 3, 2021
Stepparents, don’t just aim for love, earn their trust. To have healthy relationships it really takes love and trust. One without the other doesn’t make for a solid relationship. Now, especially for adopted children, foster children, and stepchildren trust opens the door to love. Build trust by being emotionally and physically safe to be around; by showing them that you are committed and you’ll never leave them; and by loving them on their worst day. And be trustworthy. Be a person they can trust and you’ll be a person they can love.
February 2, 2021
What do you see, when you look at yourself, through heaven’s eyes? The words of Titus 3 tell us that God saved us by His mercy, so that by His grace we might become His heirs. Did you hear that? Despite our sinfulness we have been reborn and made new in Jesus Christ. We are now heirs of the King. You have a new identity. An heir of God, a person of surpassing value with a worth that doesn’t have to be earned and can’t be taken away. Now, share that worth with the person next to you in the form of love, so they, too, can see their worth through heaven’s eyes.
February 1, 2021
What do you do when one group of kids leaves out the other?
Ron, in our stepfamily we all get along great at the holidays, but even after three years my husband's adult children often leave my kids out. Should I be concerned? Well, since they all get along to some degree, I wouldn’t worry too much that the biological siblings compartmentalize some of their time. That’s okay. Don’t try to force togetherness. If your kids want to be included more, let them ask. It’s better that you get out of the way and the siblings figure this out on their own.
January 29, 2021
I know you really don’t want to, but we need to talk about porn.
Porn is everywhere. First exposure for many kids is age four. Around 65 percent of young adult men use it weekly; one third of web users are women; and teens and young adults are twice as likely to rank not recycling as more immoral than viewing porn. This affects all of us and research shows the spiritual, relational, emotional, intellectual, social, even neurological effects on users and those around them. So, put an arm around someone, maybe yourself, and say, “Because I care, let’s talk”.
January 28, 2021
Blended families need to be bold as a lion.
The host of a national radio program asked people to call and share how their church had helped their blended family. Normally the phones would light up, but this time the calls stopped. Online someone explained, "Sadly, churches haven’t helped.” Now, in their defense, churches can’t have a ministry for every need. That’s why we provide equipping and resources. Still Proverbs 28 invites the righteous to be bold as a lion. Be bold to encourage your church to start a stepfamily ministry.
January 27, 2021
So, do you have any technoference in your parenting?
Technoference refers to the minor everyday intrusions or interruptions technology has on our relationships. Think about your parenting for a minute. While having dinner, or playing with your child—if your phone vibrates do you check it? Sixty five percent of mothers now admit that a device fairly often interrupts playtime or discipline with their child—and now researchers have found a link between technoference and child misbehavior. Distracted parents simply aren’t in synch with their child.
January 26, 2021
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Blended & Blessed®
Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.