Take Off, Put On: Forgiveness
March 10, 2021
00:00
In some ways discipleship is simply taking off and putting on. We’re talking about virtues to put on; one of them is forgiveness. What do you have to take off to put forgiveness on? For starters, the idea that forgiveness is condoning or excusing an offense; it’s not. It’s not forgetting the offense either. To forgive you also have to take off the idea that justice will be lost or you’ll be weak. No, forgiveness empowers. The person still might have a debt to pay to society but you are releasing their debt to you. Just as God, in Christ, has forgiven yours.
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Sometimes parents find themselves at a real disadvantage. This one might sound off track at first, but stay with me. Don’t care too much about winning your kid’s approval. Chasing their approval makes you hesitate when you need to set a boundary or be firm. So not caring puts you in a position of strength. This is why stepparents who chase their child’s acceptance are at a disadvantage. It's also why they need the biological parent to be the heavy at first so they can focus on bonding. It’s a disadvantage but teamwork will get you through it.
March 9, 2021
No, we can’t have you at our church because your background and past might infect everyone else. Can you imagine a pastor saying that to you? Where did we get the idea that you have to be perfect before you can come to Christ? Isn’t that what he does for us? One of the key steps for stepfamilies is step up to discover a God who loves and forgives those in blended families just like he loves and forgives those in first families. Here’s the deal, some stepfamilies are the result of sinful choices; others are not. But either way, Christ welcomes you to his body and promises to wash you clean.
March 8, 2021
Stepfamily living…without God? Now that’s a thorny path. Life is tough but life without God is even tougher. The Bible, in Proverbs 22:5, says that crooked people have thorns and snares in their way; but “whoever guards his soul” it says, “will keep far from them.” Putting up guardrails based on God’s guidance encourages morality and ethical living and helps families move down the road despite challenges. So, parents, teach virtuous living and model it. You can try to put the pieces of your family together without God but I wouldn’t recommend it.
March 5, 2021
Ron, our marriage is great. It would be wonderful if it was just the two of us but it’s not. Sarah had come to realize that parenting dramatically affects a stepfamily marriage. One key for stepfamilies is to step in line. A line dance is when many people stand beside each other and do the same steps. In blended families, all the adults, sometimes across many homes, need to coordinate their parenting in order to bring harmony to the parenting process. This helps kids but it also helps couples have a stronger marriage. Cooperation isn’t easy but everything gets better when it happens.
March 4, 2021
Hey, man, get a hold of yourself. Many people fall prey to their own passions, desires, and emotions. But getting a hold of yourself is about taking command of your tongue, your selfish desires, and your fears. So, whether you’re a parent who doesn’t follow through on discipline because you feel guilty about something, an employee who cuts corners because everyone else does, or a teenager who back-talks a stepparent when you’re really frustrated with your mom or dad—you’re not exercising self-control. Ask God to help you.
March 3, 2021
When it comes to parenting united you stand, but divided they fall. Parents who disagree on how to parent find that their kids are the ones who fall through the cracks or get caught in the crossfire. This is really true in blended families because you’re divided on day one as a family and you stay stuck that way. One thing that can unify you is good parenting. Read a book together or join a small group—there’s lots of parent training available. You have no excuse. Stop arguing. Getting on the same parenting page will bridge your gaps and strengthen your home.
March 2, 2021
After 34 years David’s parents got a divorce. And he began to question everything. There’s a growing trend of long-time married couples divorcing and the echoes of divorce make adult children question their own relationships. David said, “If their marriage turned out not to be strong, maybe mine’s not either." The loss of confidence is understandable. Questioning one thing makes you question a lot of things, but you can silence the echoes by renewing your trust in God and each other. Talk. Connect with your spouse and stay committed. Their life does not have to become yours.
March 1, 2021
You’ve heard of the trickle-down effect, right? Well, parents have one, too. Proverbs 29 says: “If a ruler listens to falsehood, all his officials will be wicked.” The principle is what influences the leader trickles down to those he leads. That’s true of parents, too. Perhaps that’s why Proverbs 23 says, “Apply your heart to instruction and your ear to words of knowledge. Do not withhold discipline from a child…” The order is important. First, apply your heart to instruction and knowledge, then, THEN, teach your children. What influences you trickles down to your kids.
February 26, 2021
Interrupting is disrespectful. I was 10 and I just had to tell my parent's friend, Mrs. Roush something. She held up her hand like a traffic cop, shook her head “no,” and kept talking to her friend until she finished, then I could talk. Now, all kids need to learn not to interrupt adults because it teaches a child respect. They shouldn’t interrupt parents either because whoever gets to interrupt gets to be in charge. So, in stepfamilies a biological parent can support a stepparent just by not allowing kids to interrupt.
February 25, 2021
When one partner holds all the wild cards, the other partner just folds. Mark held all the cards and still he believed his second wife should trust him. He made her sign a prenuptial agreement and then he managed their finances and determined her monthly allowance. Then seven years into their marriage, he set up a trust to provide for his kids but forced her to sign it without letting her read it first. This is not how you foster trust in a relationship. Treat each other like equal partners, shower one another with kindness and sacrifice. That is how you do it.
February 24, 2021
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Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.