Stop Nagging (Proverbs 19)
September 15, 2020
00:00
Someone once said that being nagged is like being nibbled to death by a duck.
Well, it seems the book of Proverbs agrees because five times it makes reference to a quarrelsome spouse who is like a continual dripping of rain, it says. Apparently nagging is like water torture. Why do people nag? Because they are unhappy with something. But the question is, does nagging work? Well, in the short term it might get you what you want but in the long run, it won’t get you what you need: peace and harmony in your relationships. So please, stop nagging.
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In today’s complex families, grandparents are confused.
Okay, grandparent, let’s say, your son is divorced, and you help to fill gaps; when the kids are at their mother’s do you still help out? And, if your son marries a woman with children do you sacrifice time with your biological grandkids to support your stepgrandkids? I realize it’s tough. You’ve got a lot to offer but you do have to answer these questions. So, sit down with your loved-ones and have a candid conversation. Define what each of you expects of the other and how you will work together.
September 14, 2020
Tragedy and hope—what a strange combination.
Sheri Ladley lost her husband, James, on September 11, 2001. Her two children lost their father. Their family lost their joy. The 9/11 attacks were tragic for all Americans, but for Sheri and her kids, it was deeply tragic. Since then our country has rebuilt some of what it has lost. Sheri’s family has, too. She remarried and had a daughter whose middle name is Hope. This year on 9/11 let’s remember the people we lost and the tragedy that changed everything. And let’s cling to the One who heals.
September 11, 2020
Is your family communication filtered or unfiltered?
In this digital age we have many communication filtering options. Say your mobile phone rings, but you let it go to voicemail. You listen to the message and reply with a text. That’s filtering. This has pros and cons. For blended families, filtering can help reduce conflict in strained relationships. But if new family members don’t stop filtering they’ll never develop a genuine relationship. The way to add depth is to actually talk and hang out in person. That throwback idea needs a comeback.
September 10, 2020
Do you see that smile on that older person’s face? They must be a grandparent.
It’s true, isn’t it? Just ask someone about their grandkids and their face lights up, they show you pictures, and they get giddy all of a sudden. No wonder Proverbs 17:6 says that grandchildren are the crown, or should I say the “reason for joy,” of the aged. Now sometimes in blended families grandchildren bring an added blessing: they unite the family. To a grandchild there’s no grandparent and stepgrandparent. They don’t’ know the family history and don’t care. You’re just someone they love.
September 9, 2020
I once witnessed someone act in a mature, loving way and I learned a lot.
A friend stood up against an injustice. A group of people were standing by when his wife heard about what he did and because he put himself in harm’s way she reacted in anger. He could have gotten defensive that she chastised him in public, but instead he responded gently. Mature friends and lovers stay connected to people even when they are angry with them, and because their focus is on the other person, they can tell when anger is really worry and find a loving spirit even when being attacked.
September 8, 2020
A biological family is born out of hopefulness while a stepfamily is born out of loss.
That sounds strange and it’s not meant to be negative or condescending rather it’s an important observation. Every stepfamily has a loss narrative just below the surface that impacts and influences every aspect of the family. For a child whose parent died, for example, embracing a stepparent can feel like burying their parent again. Sadness impacts bonding. Understanding this helps you listen better, have more patience, and support those you care about. The more you know, the better you love.
September 7, 2020
It’s a tough world out there; I say we lean in together.
I received a letter from a defeated stepmom. Her multi-layered complex stepfamily story shouted defeat. There’s drug addiction. The courts are involved. And in-laws who have legal custody of the children are making it tough. It’s really a difficult situation. And then there are those who say, “Well you got into this mess, you just have to get yourself out.” That’s not helpful. This stepmom is trying to be part of the solution. Let’s bring the power of the church to her side and lean in with her.
September 4, 2020
Did Jesus’ love and sacrifice for us make us more or less?
Ephesians 5 in the Bible says that Christ’s love for us, the church, made us sanctified, cleansed, washed, radiant, without stain or wrinkle, holy, and blameless. That’s definitely more! Guys, we’re called to love our wives like that. Because of how you love her, she should be more, not less. A selfish, controlling, critical, inattentive husband makes her less. But a thoughtful, kind, encouraging husband makes her more. More of what God has called and gifted her to be. Make her more.
September 3, 2020
Did your wedding gifts include a toaster, crockpot, and a grandchild?
An increasing number of people are getting married later and acquiring not only adult stepchildren, but stepgrandchildren. Research confirms that adult stepchildren are the gatekeepers to whether or not the stepgrandparent and stepgrandchildren have a loving relationship. The way you get along with your adult stepchildren will probably determine how you get along with your stepgrandchildren. If you want to open and enjoy that stepgrandchild gift, make sure you get along with their mom or dad.
September 2, 2020
Never stop listening to instruction.
There comes a time in life when you’ve learned a few tough lessons and it’s easy to get comfortable with where you are. According to the first seven verses, the book of Proverbs is about gaining God’s wisdom for life. Nineteen chapters into the book Solomon again reminds his son to seek wisdom and never stop listening to instruction or stray from knowledge. That’s what fools do. Let’s be reminded today that our need for God’s wisdom never stops. Seek it. Find it. And live by it.
September 1, 2020
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Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.