Stepgrandchildren (Proverbs 17)
September 8, 2017
00:00
Do you see that smile on that older person’s face? They must be a grandparent.
It’s true, isn’t it? Just ask someone about their grandkids and their face lights up, they show you pictures, and they get giddy all of a sudden. No wonder Proverbs 17:6 says that grandchildren are the crown, or should I say the “reason for joy,” of the aged. Now sometimes in blended families grandchildren bring an added blessing: they unite the family. To a grandchild there’s no grandparent and stepgrandparent. They don’t’ know the family history and don’t care. You’re just someone they love.
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Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.
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On any journey, part of gauging your progress is knowing how far you have to go and knowing how far you’ve come.
Those who study team efficiency will tell you you need to mark your progress so you know what you’ve accomplished. Parenting is a little like that. It’s easy to see the qualities your child is missing and what you’re working on, but sometimes we fail to notice how far they’ve come. Stepfamilies sometimes feel like a never-ending work in progress but remember what it was like in the beginning. Get some perspective on how far you’ve come and know that God is with you with all that lies ahead.
September 7, 2017
Romans 12:18 says, “as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” As far as it depends on you.
Every year millions of kids become part of a family by adoption, foster parenting, or marriage and they get lots of new family members. You can’t make those kids love you but there are things you can do to help you live at peace. Engage in the child’s interests; join them in the books, sports, activities, and music they like. Actively pursue connection, and if you get discouraged don’t give up. Take special trips, or take part in service activities. Love is your goal and time is your friend.
September 6, 2017
Dating in mid-life is complicated.
He was in his mid-50’s talking loudly on his mobile phone and I overheard him say, “Sweetie, you know this. I have to pay alimony and child support. Don’t scream at me. No, I can’t change it and this has nothing to do with us.” Well, actually, it does. Mid-life dating means embracing the other person’s past and making it your present. If you find yourself, like this guy, dating someone who wants to untie your commitments—especially those to your kids—don’t plead with them to understand. Move on.
September 5, 2017
Trust calms the heart.
Without trust, relationships fall apart. Whether it's trusting our politicians, our parents, a salesman, a spouse, or God trust is vital. Family therapist, Terry Hargrave says trustworthy relationships have a strong balance of giving and receiving love. Trustworthy people are responsible and reliable to keep their promises. God is all of these things. If we want to be like him and want strong, intimate relationships where people feel safe and loved, then we need to be trustworthy people. Are you?
September 4, 2017
What do we do? My husband’s ex is so negative about us; it’s really hurting our relationship with his kids.
One of the most menacing attacks on any single parent or stepfamily home is an ex-spouse who, because they’re a parent, gets to be like a terrorist living next door. The temptation is to get drawn into the game-playing. Of course, that never works. What could work is praying for God to soften their heart and for them to realize they are only hurting their children. Pray for yourself, too. Ask God to help you to endure the persecution and to give you daily wisdom as you respond to the negativity.
September 1, 2017
Want to grow in your relationship with the Lord? Want healthy family relationships? Don’t go it alone; walk with others.
From day one it wasn’t good for man to be alone. We’ve always needed others in our lives. At a recent stepfamily retreat I made sure the couples got a lot of time to interact. They loved it! They talked, shared frustrations, and encouraged each other. Even though they were from all over the country, I challenged them to stay connected and to go back to their local churches and find other couples they could walk the blended family journey with. Want a healthy blended family? Don’t go it alone.
August 31, 2017
Dating is how you first fell in love and it’s one way to stay in love.
Dating is an investment of time, energy, and a little money but mostly it’s an investment in your “usness.” A chance to breathe and connect. It's a good idea to leave the kids with someone else. There are free dates (like a walk in the park), relatively inexpensive dates (like dinner and a movie), and expensive getaway dates (like a marriage cruise). There are even books that provide do-it-yourself marriage enrichment discussion ideas for your date. Invest in your usness. Go on a date!
August 30, 2017
When it comes to conflict, are you an adult, or just a big baby?
To worship the Lord David, in Psalm 131, prepares his heart by calming and quieting his soul. “Like a weaned child,” he says, “is my soul within me.” That’s the way to approach God and the right way to respond in conflict. A calm and quiet heart is humble and a weaned child can self-regulate when upset. Too many of us act like a big baby in conflict. We expect the other person to calm us down. That’s not going to work. Can you calm and quiet your soul? If not, it’s time to grow up.
August 29, 2017
Some surprises are great! Others, not so much.
Ask a parent what surprised them most about being a parent and you get a variety of responses: how scared we feel when we don’t know what to do, and how much fun it is to watch your child use their God-given gifts. We asked stepmoms what surprised them most and they sounded like other parents. Some were surprised by how complex stepparenting is and how hard it is to explain that to others. And some were surprised, despite their fears, that loving stepchildren was easier than they ever imagined.
August 28, 2017
You know it’s true: we often judge what we don’t understand.
There are many things about stepfamily living that people who don’t live in a stepfamily find hard to understand. Mostly, people are supportive but not everyone. The Bible says in Proverbs 11, “A man who lacks judgment belittles his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue.” From the outside it’s easy to criticize but those who take the time to understand discover that stepfamilies, like all families, consist of imperfect people who are redeemed by a Savior.
August 25, 2017
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Blended & Blessed®
Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.