FamilyLife Blended®

Ron L. Deal

Step Up to Discover God’s Love

March 8, 2021

No, we can’t have you at our church because your background and past might infect everyone else. Can you imagine a pastor saying that to you? Where did we get the idea that you have to be perfect before you can come to Christ? Isn’t that what he does for us? One of the key steps for stepfamilies is step up to discover a God who loves and forgives those in blended families just like he loves and forgives those in first families. Here’s the deal, some stepfamilies are the result of sinful choices; others are not. But either way, Christ welcomes you to his body and promises to wash you clean.

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Blended & Blessed®
Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you. 

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Stepfamily living…without God? Now that’s a thorny path. Life is tough but life without God is even tougher. The Bible, in Proverbs 22:5, says that crooked people have thorns and snares in their way; but “whoever guards his soul” it says, “will keep far from them.” Putting up guardrails based on God’s guidance encourages morality and ethical living and helps families move down the road despite challenges. So, parents, teach virtuous living and model it. You can try to put the pieces of your family together without God but I wouldn’t recommend it.
March 5, 2021
Ron, our marriage is great. It would be wonderful if it was just the two of us but it’s not. Sarah had come to realize that parenting dramatically affects a stepfamily marriage. One key for stepfamilies is to step in line. A line dance is when many people stand beside each other and do the same steps. In blended families, all the adults, sometimes across many homes, need to coordinate their parenting in order to bring harmony to the parenting process. This helps kids but it also helps couples have a stronger marriage. Cooperation isn’t easy but everything gets better when it happens.
March 4, 2021
Hey, man, get a hold of yourself. Many people fall prey to their own passions, desires, and emotions. But getting a hold of yourself is about taking command of your tongue, your selfish desires, and your fears. So, whether you’re a parent who doesn’t follow through on discipline because you feel guilty about something, an employee who cuts corners because everyone else does, or a teenager who back-talks a stepparent when you’re really frustrated with your mom or dad—you’re not exercising self-control. Ask God to help you.
March 3, 2021
When it comes to parenting united you stand, but divided they fall. Parents who disagree on how to parent find that their kids are the ones who fall through the cracks or get caught in the crossfire. This is really true in blended families because you’re divided on day one as a family and you stay stuck that way. One thing that can unify you is good parenting. Read a book together or join a small group—there’s lots of parent training available. You have no excuse. Stop arguing. Getting on the same parenting page will bridge your gaps and strengthen your home.
March 2, 2021
After 34 years David’s parents got a divorce. And he began to question everything. There’s a growing trend of long-time married couples divorcing and the echoes of divorce make adult children question their own relationships. David said, “If their marriage turned out not to be strong, maybe mine’s not either." The loss of confidence is understandable. Questioning one thing makes you question a lot of things, but you can silence the echoes by renewing your trust in God and each other. Talk. Connect with your spouse and stay committed. Their life does not have to become yours.
March 1, 2021
You’ve heard of the trickle-down effect, right? Well, parents have one, too. Proverbs 29 says: “If a ruler listens to falsehood, all his officials will be wicked.” The principle is what influences the leader trickles down to those he leads. That’s true of parents, too. Perhaps that’s why Proverbs 23 says, “Apply your heart to instruction and your ear to words of knowledge. Do not withhold discipline from a child…” The order is important. First, apply your heart to instruction and knowledge, then, THEN, teach your children. What influences you trickles down to your kids.
February 26, 2021
Interrupting is disrespectful. I was 10 and I just had to tell my parent's friend, Mrs. Roush something. She held up her hand like a traffic cop, shook her head “no,” and kept talking to her friend until she finished, then I could talk. Now, all kids need to learn not to interrupt adults because it teaches a child respect. They shouldn’t interrupt parents either because whoever gets to interrupt gets to be in charge. So, in stepfamilies a biological parent can support a stepparent just by not allowing kids to interrupt.
February 25, 2021
When one partner holds all the wild cards, the other partner just folds. Mark held all the cards and still he believed his second wife should trust him. He made her sign a prenuptial agreement and then he managed their finances and determined her monthly allowance. Then seven years into their marriage, he set up a trust to provide for his kids but forced her to sign it without letting her read it first. This is not how you foster trust in a relationship. Treat each other like equal partners, shower one another with kindness and sacrifice. That is how you do it.
February 24, 2021
Those famous last words can get you in trouble. My wife taught me a great lesson once. She wanted to keep her job despite being caught in a difficult administrative situation. Before leaving the organization, she could have shared some “famous last words” but she didn’t. Then things changed and because the administrators witnessed her integrity, they invited her to stay. Apply this in your work life. Or with a spouse or even an ex-spouse. When you have choice words hold your tongue. Who knows what can be mended or how God can be glorified.
February 23, 2021
Here’s a tale of two co-parents: the fool and the wise. Proverbs 29 says when a fool and a wise person have a dispute; the fool will rant and give full vent to their anger. Now this happens in countless situations, but I see it a lot between ex-spouses who are assigned the responsibility to co-parent their children. This means godly parents are at times subjected to outrageous behavior and if that’s you, I’m sorry. Just remember this, everyone, especially children, knows exactly who the fool is and who is not. So let integrity be your guide.
February 22, 2021
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Featured Offer

Blended & Blessed®
Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you. 

About FamilyLife Blended®

FamilyLife Blended® provides  biblically-based resources that help prevent re-divorce, strengthen stepfamilies, and help break the generational cycle of divorce.

About Ron L. Deal

Ron L. Deal is the Director of blended family ministries at FamilyLife®, and is the author/coauthor of the books The Smart StepfamilyThe Smart Stepdad, The Smart Stepmom, Dating and the Single Parent, and The Remarriage Checkup. Ron voices the FamilyLife Blended short feature and is one of the most widely read authors on stepfamily living in the country. He is a licensed marriage and family therapist who frequently appears in the national media, including FamilyLife Today® and Focus on the Family, and he conducts marriage and family seminars around the countryRon and his wife, Nan, have been married since 1986 and have three boys.

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