Pure in My Own Eyes
January 2, 2020
00:00
You know that last argument you had—it was definitely the other person’s fault.
We have an uncanny ability to be selfish and deceitful all while looking in the mirror and thinking well of ourselves. Proverbs made that observation a long time ago: “the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes.” (Proverbs 12:15) The most common person we lie to is ourselves…about ourselves. We exaggerate the other person’s contribution to an argument while minimizing our own. Ask yourself, “If I was my co-worker, child, spouse, would I be frustrated interacting with me?” Stop lying to yourself.
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Now here’s a resolution for you. Colossians 3 says, “Set your mind on things above.”
The way to reach your goal is to set your mind to it. God knows how we are wired and what it takes to create change in our lives. Whatever you think about is what you tend to become. If you tell a child, “Don’t spill your milk.” You just made it more likely they will spill their milk. Instead say, “Walk slowly and hold your milk with two hands.” Set their mind on what you want. The same goes for you and me. Of course, setting your mind on the things of God is always a good resolution, too.
January 1, 2020
Hey stepparents, did you know you’re the competition?
Sometimes kids feel like they're competing with you for time and attention with their parent. On occasion they need focused time with their parent without you. It brings stability in the midst of a lot of change. So, give your spouse your blessing to spend one-on-one time with their kids. Also, be involved in some family activities, but bow out of others, especially when noncustodial children come and only have a little bit of time. This diminishes competition and shows you to be a safe person.
December 31, 2019
When it comes to disagreements, a prideful person just makes things worse.
A person who thinks highly of themselves just argues with others especially if the topic is about them. Recently, one of my sons respectfully shared with my wife and I that he was feeling unfairly treated. Now, I was tempted by pride to get defensive but that would have only proven his point. Thankfully, we both acknowledged our fault and asked his forgiveness. Proverbs 13 says, “Pride only leads to arguments, but those who take advice are wise.”
December 30, 2019
Do you remember record albums? How many grooves are there in a 12-inch record?
The answer: only one long continuous rut. That’s why the needle moves. It’s kind of like the ruts in our lives. We can get stuck in one long continuous pattern. Choosing the same bad friends and same poor decisions. How do we skip out of the rut? In the Bible, James says the transformation comes when we obey the word of God. “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” No action means staying in the rut. But obedience to righteousness means growth and change
December 27, 2019
Have you ever gotten the feeling that your relationships are doing a number on you?
God in his infinite wisdom has orchestrated the challenges of marriage and personal relationships to grow us up. The growing up process actually helps us overcome our bruises--the hurts and heartaches we all experience. One antidote to a disappointing relationship is a healthy relationship. Love heals us. But you have to be in a relationship to experience that healing. Want to heal some bruises? Work on your relationships. Dance like no one is watching and love like you have nothing to lose.
December 26, 2019
Ahhh, can you feel that? It’s the magic of Christmas!
It’s not like there’s extra grace or Holy Spirit power floating around on this day. And yet, it does seem that believers and nonbelievers alike are more selfless. Maybe it’s the giving nature of the season that softens our hearts. All family relationships get strained occasionally. Maybe this magical season is your opportunity to give the gift of forgiveness and restore a relationship. A long time ago that’s just what a little baby born in a manger did and we’re still celebrating!
December 25, 2019
Ron, I just don’t think I was cut out to be part of a stepfamily.
I wish this exhausted stepparent had asked, “How do I keep going?” The Bible encourages us in Proverbs 13, “The lazy will not get what they want, but those who work hard will.” It’s not a matter of whether she was “cut out” to be a stepmom; it’s a matter of perseverance. She’s not lazy but sometimes the expectation that stepfamily harmony will happen quickly without much effort really is. For most, blending is not a sprint. With God’s guidance and a diligent attitude, you will finish.
December 24, 2019
We all have a God-shaped hole in our heart. And a dad-shaped hole.
When a dad fills that special place in a child’s heart with love and guidance it feels great. But when a dad is missing there’s a gap. It's easy to label him a deadbeat dad but I’ve met a lot of dads who are disconnected because their ex is blocking them or because of physical distance. And sometimes the non-custodial dad thinks it’s easier on his kids if he stays away. Well, it’s not. Hey dad, you're needed and you can do this. There’s a hole in your child’s heart waiting for you to fill.
December 23, 2019
Do you know what goes well together? Grandparents and Christmas!
Christmas is a natural time to connect the generations. Sometimes stepfamilies are still trying to figure that out. Some stepgrandparents fall into that role because someone else decided to get married. The bonding process between the generations is dependent upon the motivation of all the people. The stepgrandparent, the adult child, and the stepgrandchild. This Christmas take advantage of your opportunities. Talk. Share. Play games. There are memories to be made and a Savior to share.
December 20, 2019
Is your family walking the path of righteousness?
Proverbs 12:28 says, “In the path of righteousness there’s life.” Part of maturing as a disciple is recognizing God’s path doesn’t ruin our fun. It creates a context for healthy living and relationships, both with him and others. When parents and stepparents trust that with all their heart, they'll encourage their children to walk the righteous path. They’ll have expectations that honor truth, set boundaries to help kids walk the road, and gently discipline them to invite them back on the path.
December 19, 2019
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Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.