How to Bless Children (Proverbs 20:7)
November 18, 2020
00:00
You want to be a blessing to your children, right? Well here’s how.
According to Proverbs 20:7, “Walking with integrity blesses our children.” When we walk with God we teach our children a wisdom that informs their life. But catch this. Even in a difficult situation with one of your kids like if a child is rebelling, or stress is fracturing your family, or if you’re a stepparent and the child is completely closed to you, even then you can always bring the gift of righteousness to the child. Your integrity has the power to influence them for good.
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Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.
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Moving between homes is stressful for kids. One antidote is a smooth transition.
A smooth transition helps kids feel safe to be themselves. They’re not pawns between waring nations. "I try to have a good attitude,” said Cindy, “but I can’t help but come unglued if my ex-husband looks at me wrong.” Ah, therein lies part of the problem. Cindy makes the transition about her instead of about her children. I’m glad that Cindy is aware of her vulnerability, but she has to grow beyond it. Make the transition smoother for your children by making it about them, not you.
November 17, 2020
A French poet once said, “A brother is a friend given by nature.” Well, what if the brother was given by marriage?
Millions of Americans have a half-sibling or stepsibling and like full-siblings, the ties that bind vary from close to distant. But parents and stepparents can foster stronger bonds between half and stepsiblings by helping kids come together around common interests. Time spent playing a game or cheering for one another’s extracurricular activities are a good start. But eventually, they’ll have to figure out their relationship. In the meantime, encourage them to love each other by loving them.
November 16, 2020
No, Ron, I would never ask the kids to choose between us.
Close to 40% of kids in the U.S. live between separated or divorced parents and generally those parents know not to ask their child to choose between them. You would never do that, right? But, inadvertently, you might be—when you talk out loud about between home disagreements, invade the other’s home time with the kids with text messages, or when you make the children feel guilty for enjoying life in the other home. All of these ask kids to choose. It’s not a competition. Just love your kids.
November 13, 2020
On his way out the door, he looked me in the eye and said, “Take care of your marriage.”
This friend of mine had come to FamilyLife for a series of meetings. He’s well aware that I’m a family author, conference speaker, and a licensed marriage and family therapist with nearly three decades of experience, but still he said to me, “Take care of your marriage.” I really respect him for it. None of us are immune to temptation or has a resume that will allow us to get relationally lazy. Protecting our marriage and family relationships demands diligence, intentionality, and God’s wisdom.
November 12, 2020
For military stepfamilies combat is not the only battle they face.
Not all blended families face the same challenges. Stepfamilies in the military face life in 3D: Frequent moves create distance between children and their parent; deployments may force stepparents to take on a full-time parenting role before they’re ready; and the demands of military life create stress in the home. That’s why FamilyLife Blended is pleased to work with the Military Ready Stepfamily. On this Veteran’s Day: we thank you for fighting for us, and we’re fighting for you.
November 11, 2020
Do you want to rise above the clutter? Walk your talk.
Many people claim things about themselves and make promises but few people live up to them. It’s always been that way. Proverbs 20 warns us that many people profess their loyalty and kindness, but few are faithful to it. That was the norm. That’s why today as people who reflect Christ to the world we should strive, in this case, to be abnormal. Don’t make promises you can’t keep and be honest and faithful in your business practices and dealings with friends and family. Walk your talk.
November 10, 2020
Hovering, overbearing parents squash kids.
Hovering parents, sometimes called helicopter parents, stay on top of their kids. “When are you going to get your homework done?” “Did you take out the trash yet?” You may be trying to teach responsibility but you’re really telling the kids they aren’t capable. That’s debilitating and when it comes from a stepparent, it’s even worse. It short circuits your developing relationship and makes you feel unsafe to be around. To build up a child coach them from the side, not force them from the top.
November 9, 2020
So, are we family or are we not?
God is relational and we, as his image-bearers, also, have a deep need for connection. So, when a child can’t win a parent’s approval, a spouse feels unimportant to their partner, or when a stepcouple feels like their family isn’t coming together; anxiety and fear set in. Essentially they are asking, “Am I important to you or not?” and that question adds to what gets in the way of finding connection. It’s much better to act out of your love for them than worry about their love for you.
November 6, 2020
Is alcohol abuse alive and well in your home? If so, it’s time to send it packing.
According to Proverbs 20, overindulging in wine and strong drink turns us into fools, creates conflict, and leads us astray. But the drinker is not the only one led astray. Think about the kids in the home. We all know drugs and alcohol can affect any family, but kids from divorced or separated homes and stepfamilies are five times as likely to live with someone with a substance abuse problem. I’m not casting stones; I just want to encourage you: if this is your family, please get help.
November 5, 2020
Hey Ron, are stepfamilies and adoptive families similar?
Adoptive parents and stepparents alike have to bond with kids by developing trust, learning how to read each other, and sharing life together. And they all learn that the pain of the past can’t be avoided. You can hope the past will not affect the bonding process but both families understand that avoiding pain and pretending it doesn’t matter, doesn’t get you anywhere, but moving through pain together does. Consider the past and build a relationship in the present are how you forge a family.
November 4, 2020
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Featured Offer
Blended & Blessed®
Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.