Event Etiquette
December 3, 2020
00:00
Does your child live between two homes? When attending their activities, follow these event-etiquette guidelines.
Kids love when their parents attend their recitals, concerts, and sporting events but not if co-parents make it stressful. So, mind your etiquette. Sit where you feel comfortable and be respectful to the other parent. After the event, let your child hug or talk to each parent no matter who has visitation. To keep the event safe for everyone, don’t discuss parenting matters otherwise it turns a recital into a business conversation. Let the moment be about celebrating your child.
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You know, when it comes to faults, we all have them.
One of the slippery slopes in life is focusing on the imperfections of others because we lose track of our own. We get critical and judgmental and prideful. What we need to do is remember. “Who can say,” declares Proverbs 20:9, “that I have made my heart pure; I am clean from sin.” Answer: Nobody! Your heart and mine need to frequently recall our quirks, our mess ups, and all that we’ve been forgiven so we can find humility and be softer and more compassionate with others.
December 2, 2020
If you’re a single parent or dating one, here’s a dating myth to avoid.
Our culture tries to convince us that personal happiness is at the center of life. For example, the divorce culture says, “If I’m not happy in my marriage why should I have to stay?” and single parents sometimes think, “If I’m in love and happy, my kids will be happy, too.” But there is no guarantee your romance will improve the lives of your children; in fact, your happiness can bring great unhappiness to your kids. So pursue romance but carefully consider how it’s impacting your children.
December 1, 2020
You know, sometimes the best thing you can do with the Bible, is live it. Ask yourself as you listen to Colossians 3 how to live out these words today in your own home. …clothe yourselves for compassion, perhaps for a friend. Kindness, in a relationship. Gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts and be thankful.
November 30, 2020
So, what do you think, do we grieve well?
First, no, we don’t grieve well as a society. It’s un-American to sit in our sorrow. And second, we think we have dealt with the past. That’s one reason people marry quickly again after a divorce or being widowed only to discover that grief is waiting for them on the other side of the wedding and the kids are grieving, too. And, now are resentful of your quick turnaround marriage. Look, grief needs your full attention. Don’t act like it doesn’t.
November 27, 2020
Ever had someone thankful for you?
Well, I have. And it feels good. And what if they thanked God for you? That really feels good because they see in some eternal sense that God has brought a blessing to them through you. In the Bible Paul expressed thanksgiving to God for his spiritual family because he held them “close in his heart,” Philippians says. Maybe we should do the same. This Thanksgiving tell the people you value most how thankful to God you are for them. You need to say it and they need to hear it.
November 26, 2020
Were there any rituals at your wedding?
Many modern stepfamily weddings include the Blending of the Family Sands ceremony in which each adult and child pours a vase of sand into a larger vase signifying the new family. The sand symbolizes the couple's journey into love, but it’s just the beginning for the kids and the entire family. The ceremony doesn’t create familyness…life does. Remain dedicated to the process of merging your sand while you embrace your evolving mosaic as a family. Pour yourself in and trust God with the process.
November 25, 2020
When the road gets long, just keep going.
It’s not true for all but some stepfamilies tell me they feel like Moses and the Israelites leaving Egypt for the Promised Land. They left something horrible but it's taking longer to get there than they thought. Besides, they’re carrying baggage and when children slow their progress, they wonder if they should have stayed in Egypt. So begins the grumbling and complaining. But I say, like the Israelites, God is leading your journey. In your weariness, trust Him, and He’ll see you through.
November 24, 2020
Never satisfied are the eyes of man.
When Proverbs 27 in the Bible says the eyes of people are never satisfied, it is warning us against being hungry for more wealth. But it’s not just wealth you’ll want more of. You’ll want your spouse to be more like your friend’s spouse. Of course, you don’t know what life is really like on the inside. This could be said about your children, your job, or your clothes. Eyes that are never satisfied are blinded by envy and jealousy. Find joy in what you have and trust God for what you really need.
November 23, 2020
Do you want a good marriage? Start by doing some math.
Marital researcher John Gottman found that healthy long-term couple relationships maintain a 5 to 1 ratio of positives to negatives. In other words, they make five deposits for every one withdrawal. For every act of selfishness, there is one act of kindness and sacrifice. You know, no one puts money in your financial bank but you and if you don’t invest, you’ll have nothing for the future. The same is true for your marriage. Besides, the dividends you get in return are well worth the investment.
November 20, 2020
Most families have some unwritten codes of conduct and you better abide by them.
We all know the unwritten rules and most of us abide by them. You don’t talk about dad’s bathroom habits or post pictures of mom’s morning hair. But what if a child, “an inside man” if you will, is telling your secrets to their other home and it’s hurting your relationship. Get direct. “Hey, because I love you and want to trust you, I need to ask you to stop.” My article, Telling Secrets, gives more details about this. But bottom line: don’t be passive, speak up. Your family is worth it.
November 19, 2020
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Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.