I Needed Power
"If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" (Luke 11:13).
Oswald Chambers struggled to understand the role of the Holy Spirit in his life. It is good for us to know the struggles others had in their own journey.
"I was in Dunoon College as a tutor in philosophy when Dr. F. B. Meyer came and spoke about the Holy Spirit. I determined to have all that was going, and went to my room and asked God simply and definitely for the baptism of the Holy Spirit, whatever that meant. I had no conscious communion with Him despite winning many souls. The Bible was the dullest, most uninteresting book in existence, and the vileness and bad-motiveness of my nature was terrific.
At a little meeting held during a mission in Dunoon, a well-known lady led our meeting and set us to prayer, and then sang "Touch me again, Lord."
I rose to my feet in an effort to receive that prayer then sat down. The lady worker, who knew me well, said: 'That is very good of our brother, he has spoken like that as an example to the rest of you.' Up I got again and said: 'I got up for no one else's sake, I got up for my own sake; either Christianity is a downright fraud, or I have not got hold of the right end of the stick.' And then there I claimed the gift of the Holy Spirit in dogged commitment to Luke 11:13.
I had no vision of heaven or angels, I had nothing. Then like a flash something happened inside of me, and I saw that I had been wanting power in my own hand, so to speak, that I might say, 'Look what I have by putting my all on the altar.'
If the four previous years had been hell on earth, these five years have truly been heaven on earth. The last aching abyss of my heart is filled to overflowing with the love of God. Love is the beginning, love is the middle and love is the end. After He comes in, all you see is 'Jesus only, Jesus ever.'"*
*Adapted from V. Raymond Edman, They Found the Secret, Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, MI, 1984, ppo. 33,34