Regaining Lost Ground

Shane Idleman: Genuine repentance has fruit, but people like to hide behind fake fruit. If they're always blame-shifting, "Yeah, but you don't know this, and you don't..." hold on, God does. Here's the beautiful thing about every counseling session: I don't need to know who's telling the truth. He does. He'll get you, joker. He knows.

Or if she's being the sneaky one and she's not working on herself—she's manipulating—He knows. I don't need to know. When they try to convince you of how good they are, there is no repentance.

Guest (Male): Thank you for joining us here at Westside Christian Fellowship, located in Leona Valley, California, one hour north of Los Angeles. Today on Regaining Lost Ground, we hear the second part of this illuminating Father's Day message titled "The Prodigal and the Promise." Puritan John Wesley once quoted: "The creation encourages us to imitate Him whose mercy is over all His works. It may enlarge our hearts toward these poor creatures, men and women alike, to reflect that not one of them is forgotten in the sight of our Heavenly Father."

Do you feel distant from God? Do you yearn to have a deeper life with Jesus? Dive deep into the Father's love in this powerful message by Pastor Shane to look to the work paid on Calvary's cross. The Father is calling the prodigals home right now, anticipating to say, "Welcome home." Here on Regaining Lost Ground. You can hear the whole message at Pastor Shane's YouTube and Rumble channels. Make sure to subscribe today. For more information, visit us online at WestsideChristianFellowship.org. We also encourage you to hear more truth from Pastor Shane with the Idleman Unplugged weekly podcast. And now, from Westside Christian Fellowship in Leona Valley, California, here is Pastor Shane Idleman.

Shane Idleman: But to be liked, to not offend, we just read it. Most of the time at funerals or with unbelievers, a lot of times, that's false hope. "The Lord is your shepherd, you've got this, see you around, guys." But He's not. Correct? If you're an unbeliever, you can't say, "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want." You've got to repent to know the Shepherd. That's the only hope. We tell people that. It's not uncommon; I get people who get up and leave during a memorial. They're upset. They go in the bathroom stall and pull out a mirror and some white powder. That's how they fix it.

Or they're out in the parking lot with a forty. If you don't know what that is, that's okay. It's good. But we'll run from that conviction, won't we? I've seen too that the greater the conviction, the more profound the life is changed. That's how lives are changed: through conviction. Conviction. It's a wonderful word. It's a word that actually means something. Jesus would preach and people would be very convicted. It was like, "Oh, I'm not right. Oh, He just challenged me. Wait a minute, I have to rethink things."

I wish I could report to you that most people embrace that. Many times—Tara, you're here, I'm going to have you give your testimony sometime—she always reminds me, "I hated what you had to say years ago. I used to read your articles and say, 'I don't want to read this, I don't want to hear this guy.'" And now she's here and loves it. What happened? Conviction. It's not uncommon. I run into people all the time whose spouses don't come because they do not want to hear what I have to say. Then months later, guess who's here? Convicted.

Something—you don't like it—but something is drawing you back. We hear that all the time. People hate the truth when they love the dark. That's why they will look for churches and pastors who will tell them what they want to hear. Will they not? Many of you know, or some of you were there; there was a conference this weekend with Martin and Miloset Sedra. They're from Australia. She's got an accent and he's from Egypt. Talk about bold. Talk about bold.

That's what we need. That's why they're so hated by some but loved by others. The problem is the soft pastors think they're loved by everyone, but they're not. Spirit-filled believers leave their church starving for more of God. "Would this person speak up?" Remember when Barna did a poll? Ninety-one percent of all congregants want their pastor to be bold, especially in areas of truth in the political arena or wherever. Just say it. Would you just be bold?

They defined boldness yesterday, and I'm so glad. This is so true. It doesn't necessarily mean loud; that can be arrogant. That can be angry. Bold is saying what needs to be said with clarity. I've seen famous pastors on The View or Oprah. "What's your view on abortion?" "Well, I don't know, it's a very complex issue, Oprah. There are many dynamics that take place when that..." what the heck? "I don't want to offend." Well, you just offended God.

You should be able to say with clarity, "Yes, the Scripture is clear. It's a sin." Whoa. They go on Larry King. "So, are Mormons going to Heaven?" "Well, Larry, I don't know, I'm not to judge their heart. Who am I?" Then you get John MacArthur on there—bam—shoots it straight within a minute. Perfect. Bold. That's what it is. What is the truth? If you don't know Jesus, you don't go to Heaven. It's not complex.

But they get this platform and man, "My publisher is going to get upset. This is a book tour." They miss the power of God. They really do. The power of the Gospel comes from the conviction. When you start to water it down and you're embarrassed about it, it really does lose that power, that unction it's supposed to have. It's the conviction that helps us see the light, isn't it?

Why did Jesus say, "Don't fear him who can kill you"? Jesus did. He said fear Him who can cast both body and soul in Hell. Jesus said that. He's telling people. He's the epitome of boldness, wasn't He? Gentle, meek, but I can't find anywhere where He's like, "You know what? That's a good point. Let's consider that. Let's have a conversation." He just bam, bam, bam, bam in love because that's true love when you tell people the truth.

Cowardliness is not love. It's fear masked in the definition of what people think love is. So, what did he do? No, he didn't repent. What a good opportunity. He did not repent. Next verse: "Then he went and joined himself," means he lived with this person. He came together with and embraced that lifestyle—a citizen of that country. He wasn't coming home; he was still staying in that spot. And the person that he went to work with sent him into the fields to feed swine.

That's what sin does with you. Look at that. Sin will take you farther than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, and cost you more than you want to pay. That saying's been around for years, but it fits. Think about this. He's with a wealthy father. He's going to inherit. He's good. But now he's feeding pigs. Have you ever fed pigs? Some of you? There's more than that, you're just not being honest. Trying to wake the kids up.

No matter what you put in there, it's disgusting. Now he's feeding the pigs, and he said, "I would gladly have filled my stomach with these pods that the pigs are eating." But no one gave him anything. God knows how to keep tugging at you, doesn't He? Because I wonder if this guy would have said, "Hey, if you're working for me, you've got good meals—breakfast, lunch, and dinner." He might have stayed there for a while.

Why would he have stayed there for a while? Five-letter word. We know it by now. Begins with a P. And it's not a good thing to have a P-month. That just kind of came out. Probably won't come out at second service. But pride is still at play. I've seen it; it drives me crazy. I've probably done it. I'm sure. Haven't you? Like, guys, hello, humble yourself. No. And just dig those feet in.

We have seen so many times where we have counseled couples and it's so easy. You could fix this. Nope. That pride digs in. Look at what you just went through. Look at how your kids are feeling. And pride just digs in and it digs in. It doesn't want to change. It doesn't want to admit its fault. You need to run from that as quickly as possible and repent of it.

The majority of the time—I don't want to get emails or lectures afterwards—it's always from men who just don't like what I'm saying because they're prideful. Often, if the man would humble himself, it would fix it. Just saying. Here's what the emails will say: "But you know, women need to be reprimanded, too." You little crybaby. No kidding. Let God do it. I'm talking to you today. That's called blame-shifting.

Or they'll get mad at me. "Pastor, you always come against the men. Why don't you ever come against the women?" Do you not see this clear as day? You are a very prideful man. Hello. Wake up. But pride digs its heels in. It's sad. You can't say much. You can call them out, you can challenge them, but it doesn't matter. Pride digs its heels in. Pride is still at play here. It's sad.

Ah, but the switch from pride to humility is beautiful, isn't it? What is the switch? Well, here we go. "But when he"—aha—"But when he came to himself." We have a word for that now: when he came to his senses. He's like, "You know what? This is not working too well." He came to himself. He came to his senses. He owned it. He repented. He embraced it. Very powerful.

He said, "How many of my father's hired servants have bread—extra bread—and I'm sitting here perishing with hunger? I will arise and go to my father's house, and I will say, 'Father, I have sinned against Heaven.'" Here's the key: had he come back and demanded it, that would not be genuine humility and repentance. "Hey, Father, you know what? I'm back now. Can I have my spot back?" Many men are like that.

They will not repent. They will not humble themselves. The more they tell me, "Hey, go after the women, too," I'm not going to. The more you say that, I'm going to go after the men because the men set the tone often, don't they? For the nation, for the family, for the church. That's why when Maddie said headship, leadership, it doesn't mean better than; it means willing to die for. They can set the tone.

Now, you might say, "I've done all I can do, and this doesn't apply to me." That's fine. I got it. There are some people out there who have done all they can do. They're seeking the Lord. They've humbled themselves. And you know I'm not talking to you. That's why you don't have a problem with this. But it's those who run away from this responsibility. So he came to himself. "Father, I have sinned against Heaven and before you. I've sinned against God and I've sinned against you."

See, this is beautiful, actually. "I recognize that my choices have consequences. I'm no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants." Beautiful. I'm sure there were some tears flowing. He made that decision. He hasn't yet seen the father. But he said, "This is the mark of genuine repentance." Do you know sorrow isn't always repentance?

A.W. Tozer was famous for saying, "Don't come up here and cry about it. Go home and live it out." I've talked to so many—they're crying, "Oh, my marriage, my marriage"—and they're crying. The more you talk to them, the more they're worried about the alimony. I just start to talk more, and then they're like, "What about four thousand a month? Where am I going to come up with that?" Oh, okay.

Or you talk more. They're embarrassed they got caught. What are their coworkers going to think? They might lose their clearance somewhere. That's not true repentance. True repentance says whatever the cost. Whatever the cost. In the last few years, I've seen where men could say, "You know what? Whatever you want financially, the house, whatever you want, because I'm trusting the Lord. I'm seeking Him. I've messed up. I didn't lead effectively, you're right."

And they own it. It's a beautiful thing. Then most spouses are like, "Well, okay, well, maybe we can fix this." Because what you do, you just push them away further the more you dig in and fight it. Then you go get attorneys and they go after each other. Now, I'm not saying maybe there's a time and place for that. Absolutely. I'm not trying to make a blanket statement that applies to every single situation under Heaven.

But I know nine times out of ten—maybe even more, ninety-nine percent of the time—if they would just own it. Maybe many of you need to see Fireproof again. Remember that movie? Wow. I just watched it a couple weeks ago. Man, that's genuine repentance. At first, he wasn't. But then there are marks. What else does genuine repentance do? They fix what they broke.

They'll tell the spouse, "Whatever it takes. What do you need me to do?" They're not negotiating. "Well, I don't know about that. Well, if you do that, I'll do this." I've had people tell me, "I'm not going to do that; she doesn't respect me." No kidding she doesn't respect you. Why don't you start doing stuff that will make her respect you? "I'm not going to do this unless she respects me." How do you force respect when you're a jerk? That's just the truth.

Genuine repentance has fruit, but people like to hide behind fake fruit. If they're always blame-shifting, "Yeah, but you don't know this, and you don't..." hold on, God does. Here's the beautiful thing about every counseling session: I don't need to know who's telling the truth. He does. He'll get you, joker. He knows. Or if she's being the sneaky one and she's not working on herself—she's manipulating—He knows. I don't need to know.

When they try to convince you of how good they are, there is no repentance. You see, there are signs of it. If you're genuinely sorry, you'll say, "Pastor, I blew it. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes." Now, of course, you have to use wisdom. But pride is so deadly. Pride destroyed my life. And it can sneak in very quickly, can't it? That's why we need to come to ourselves often and realize, "You know what? This is not going in a good direction."

Sadly, many never come to their senses. Many never come to their senses. And I don't know why I go off on this tangent; it wasn't in my notes or anything, but we have seen so many over the years—many, many marriages—and think, how is this possible? One of the guys would speak sometimes, another person's on the worship team. How are they divorced now?

Because they would dig their heels in. Nobody would own it. "Well, this, until they do." Are we back in junior high? Because when you get two spirit-filled believers, it's hard to break that apart. It's hard because they want the heart of God. They want to know what God wants. Pride will push away what God wants. But we're going to see here when repentance meets grace: the prodigal and the promise.

So even if you're a prodigal, you guys can pray about sending this message to your prodigals. They'll listen, I don't know. See what God does. But there is a promise that God has for every prodigal. And everything hinges on a two-letter word. You guys know where I'm going. If. If. That's why it's so frustrating for many of us, and if you have prodigals, you know.

Shane Idleman: Hello, this is Pastor Shane Idleman. I want to tell you about a new booklet I just released titled The Dark Night of the Soul. This book came from a very challenging season in my own personal life. Dark seasons reveal what we actually believe, not just what we say we believe. The phrase "The Dark Night of the Soul" captures a moment we all dread. It's the moment when the floor drops out from underneath us and we realize that we are not in control, and we come face to face with something we cannot fix.

Time and time again, God demonstrates that what appears to be the end of something is actually only the beginning. So again, I want to encourage you to take time today and download my new booklet, The Dark Night of the Soul, for free right now at WestsideChristianFellowship.org. Again, download it for free at WestsideChristianFellowship.org. It is on Amazon, but we're encouraging people to go to our church website where they can actually download the booklet for free—the PDF—and share it with friends and family at WestsideChristianFellowship.org.

Guest (Male): Westside Christian Fellowship is located sixty miles north of Los Angeles in Leona Valley, California. Thank you again for listening to today's message of Regaining Lost Ground, where we are reminded daily: times change, truth does not.