"Are Cyber Friends real friends?" Last time I explored this subject it became one of the most popular posts I had written. It certainly generated fascinating comments from many perspectives. Recently, I had a stimulating conversation with two friends, Jeff Goins and Michael Hyatt. We were talking about the disadvantages and advantages of social media and the role it plays in personal relationships. Jeff Goins has written a fascinating article claiming that the internet is not a neutral medium. He says social media is an inherently impersonal medium that can disguise itself as real relationship and counsels that it must be carefully managed lest it isolate us from real friendships.
I am convinced that the value of social media is much more informational than relational. This has been true of all forms of communication from the beginning of time.
Now let me take my tongue out of my cheek and express my point.
I am so glad God didn’t text, e-mail, twitter or blog His message of love to me. If He had come to earth in this day and age, He might have used social media to announce His coming or keep record of His being here, but only the incarnation, the appearance of God in the flesh could consummate the relationship He desired with us.
Social Media’s greatest contribution is the entree it creates for real relationships. And as with Christ’s example, relationships are only consummated when flesh touches flesh. I have thousands of social media “friends” but real relationship happened when we looked each other in the eye, shook hands, embraced, and broke bread together. Before that we were acquaintances separated by a thin digital line. When we met, real people became real friends. Real relationship was born.
I am so grateful for those of you I have only met through this medium. There is a bond between us that we would never have existed except for the internet. In a post entitled "Disciplines of the Heart," Michael Hyatt said this, “In a world of social media and faux connections, we must be intentional about building authentic relationships and real community.” Although I know this can’t happen with everyone, I look forward to the day you and I might meet, move beyond the thin digital line and take a step toward real relationship.
Bill Gothard, isolated four “Levels of Friendship”:
1. acquaintance
2. casual friend
3. close friend and
4. intimate friend
Here is my question: Do our “cyber-friends,” the social network “friends” we have never met, fit in any of these categories? Are they part of another category all together? Are they really friends?
Several years ago I came to the sad realization that I had almost no friends. I had thousands of fans, I had a successful career, I had lots of stuff, but I had no real friends. I had people all around me and I was still alone. I remember telling my wife, Diane, that I was afraid when I died she wouldn’t be able to find six people who were willing to carry the box I was buried in. I had nightmares of her pulling the casket down the church steps alone; thump, thump, thump...I have good news! I now have friends!
So how did I find friends in a desert of fans? I assessed what would be required to develop friendships and I purposefully changed my lifestyle to make it happen. Here’s what I came up with.
In Happily Ever Laughter you'll find real-life stories from humorists who know how to spot life's funny events, even when the joke falls squarely on them. This is a book about treating marriage in the best ways, which include generous doses of laughter.
God proved His sense of humor by inventing marriage. The problem is that we often fail to get the delightful joke that can produce joy for a lifetime—how two radically different, shockingly incompatible, deeply flawed, and incurably bent people can actually become one. Marriage is an expression of the humorous side of God's grace. We dare you not to laugh when you see yourself (and your marriage) in these pages.
Discover the lighter side of marriage with these hilarious guides: Ken Davis, Chonda Pierce, Jeff Allen, John Branyan, David Dean, Kendra Smiley, Daren Streblow, and others.