In Touch Ministries

Dr. Charles Stanley: The bottom line of learning to live with frustration, either for a period of time or for the rest of our life, is that we are committed to Jesus Christ, period. No strings, no reservations. God, whatever You want for my life, wherever You want it, whenever You want it, I am committed. Whether I like it or not, I'm committed to whatever You call me for.

Guest (Male): It's the rare person who sees a life of difficulty and hardship as being pleasing to God. Yet, Scripture is clear that believers benefit greatly from times of trial. Today on In Touch, the teaching ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley, we'll look at Philippians chapter one. These pivotal verses help Christians get God's perspective on adversity to successfully learn to live with frustration.

Dr. Charles Stanley: Now, frustration is the result of our being inhibited in achieving or accomplishing or receiving what we want or what we want to do. And we're hindered, and in some way, we're not able to have our own desires or our own wishes granted, so we feel frustration. An inability to achieve or to accomplish or to finish or to get what we want.

Now, there are some things in life that you and I pray for and wish for that God will never grant. It isn't because He's unkind or isn't because He's impotent. It is because in the wisdom of God, He knows better than to remove that frustration from our life. And there are some things we would like to go to the Scripture for, and you can fast and pray and beg and plead, and if you're not listening to God to begin with, you can do anything you want to.

But if God puts His finger there, and He leaves it there, and He's determined to leave it there for a given, divine, designed reason to accomplish His will in your life, all the praying in the world's not going to make it go. Those are the things that frustrate us. We can't have our way in a given circumstance. And so we back off, and first of all, we get a little rebellious toward God, or we want to argue with Him.

Then we want to compare ourselves with other people, then we want to weigh our good works against how bad we could be. We go through all of that until finally the wise man or woman eventually says, "Okay, Lord, what is it that You're trying to say to me? I give up my rebellion trying to convince You of what You ought to do." Now, frustration is a part of living because all of us are still human, and we live in a worldly, ungodly culture.

But even if we are as saints, if this whole world was only covered with saints, but we still had a sin principle within us, we'd still be frustrated with each other at times. Now, I'm not going to give you a quick little A-B-C or 1-2-3-4-5 how to get rid of your frustrations because I want to tell you there isn't anything in this Bible that says there is a key to eliminate all frustration in life. There's not.

But there are some principles that teach us how to live with the frustrations that we have, and sometimes they're not of God. Some of you are living in situations in your home that from all practical purposes, you know that there's no human way for them to ever change. So you have already decided, "I've got to learn to live with this," but maybe you're not doing so good.

Or in your vocation, there's situations there that you know that you're helpless to change, and you've prayed and they don't change. Sometimes they get worse. And you keep asking God what in the world He is up to. In fact, you might say, "I'm going to quit this job and get me one where I can enjoy being around some Christians." And it may be that the day you quit your job, you stepped out of God's will.

Because you see, all frustration cannot be relegated to the devil. He may be the channel through which it comes, but God allows certain frustrations in our life for our own spiritual maturing or to accomplish something that God wants to accomplish that is totally beyond our understanding, thinking, or comprehension. So the question is: how do we learn to live with our frustrations?

Here is Paul writing to the Philippians, and he's in prison. He may be even chained to a Roman soldier or isolated in a room there with a Roman guard in his presence. And imagine how frustrated he could be. Imagine what you would be thinking. "Now, Lord, You called me to be a missionary. And Lord, You know that I've been to Antioch, I've been to Lystra. You know I was stoned in Lystra, they put me in jail in Philippi, and I thought that was the end of my jail experience."

He could just go down the line of Thessalonica, of Corinth, of Ephesus, all these churches where he had established, all these places he'd been, and now God's got him in jail. He's in prison. He can't go back to see what's happening in these churches. The only thing he hears is the problems that they're having. And so here he is, frustrated. Most of us would be wringing our hands, pulling our hair, and biting our fingernails off, trying to figure out how in the world we're going to get God's work done sitting in prison.

"Lord, why did You put me in prison? You know what I've done. Why do You have me in this circumstance?" Now, you may not be in a prison, but you may feel that you are imprisoned in your present circumstances and very frustrated that you cannot change what it is in your life that is frustrating you and keeping you from accomplishing what you really choose to accomplish in life.

So what do you do? Do you rebel against God, fight against God, try to find somebody else to accuse of the problem? Or what do you do? How do you learn to live with frustration? For some people, that frustration is a physical problem. With some, it's their business or their finances, the relationships within their family, whether it's immediate family or distant family.

But all kinds of things can come into our life to frustrate us. Maybe something that you've been trying to achieve personally, and somehow every time you get right up to grasp it, it eludes you and you feel hindered. And there's nothing any more frustrating than being able to come so close to accomplishing something, and each time it eludes you and you can't and you're frustrated, you want to give up, and you know you can't give up. And so there you are.

How do we learn to live with those things that God will not change? Or He is going to wait long enough until we have to learn to live with them until God chooses to change them? So I want to say to you, all the praying in the world is not going to move anything that God has allowed in your life for an ultimate purpose for your good and my good. So how do we learn to live with them? I want to give you three things here to think about, if you will.

First of all, when you look at the life of Paul here, the first thing you have to do to learn to live with frustration is to learn to rejoice in it, regardless of how painful it is. Now, I want you to notice something in this book. This is the one epistle that Paul wrote that there is not a single word of criticism in it. In the book of Galatians, he starts out, for example, if you'll recall, in a tense manner because he wants to deal with a problem among the Galatians. So he's attacking the Judaizers.

In the Corinthian church, it's the same thing. He begins that book knowing that he must deal with problem after problem after problem in that fellowship. In the book of Philippians, it's all joy. Four times he mentions being in bonds, imprisonment. 16 times he talks about joy, rejoicing, gladness in the Lord. And here he is in prison, rejoicing about it.

In chapter two and verse 17, look at this. He says, "But even if I'm being poured out..." You see, here's where Paul was. He was waiting for trial before Nero and knew that he could be executed or he could be freed, and the chances were 50/50, probably leaning a little bit more toward execution. "But even if I am being poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I rejoice and share my joy with you."

Imprisoned, facing death, and talking about sharing his joy with them and urging them to rejoice also with him. Look in chapter three, verse one. "Finally, my brethren, rejoice in the Lord." And then if you'll notice in chapter four and verse four, he says, "Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say, rejoice." Verse 10, "But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at last you've revived your concern for me."

Here's a man in prison who has all the reason in the world to be frustrated, to be anxious, to be upset. But listen to what he says. Here's his reasoning for not being frustrated. Listen to what he says. He focuses his attention—now watch this because this is one of the keys. In order to learn to live with frustration, I must learn to rejoice even in the painfulness of it.

The pain may be physical, it may be emotional, or it may be the pain of knowing I cannot do what I want to do or feel like I need to do. Paul says you must first learn to rejoice in it. And he learned that by learning a very simple secret, and that is to major on the things that are positive and good even amidst the things that are painful. So notice what he says in chapter four, verse eight.

"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things." Not on the thing that is the barrier to your accomplishment, not on the thing that is hindering you from becoming or doing what you want to do. He says focus and fasten, let your mind settle on the things that are good.

Now, listen to Paul as he sort of talks about the things that are good here. In chapter one, verse 18, listen to what he says. In all through here, this is what he's doing. Here he is in prison. He says, "What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed and in this I rejoice, yes, and I will rejoice." He said, for example, there were some men there who were happy that Paul was in prison.

They were glad that this man was in prison even though they were preaching the gospel. He said some of them are preaching out of strife and out of envy. He says that doesn't bother me. If Christ is being proclaimed and people are being saved, I'm going to rejoice even if their attitude and their motivation is wrong. Look, if you will, likewise, in verse 21 of this chapter.

Paul says, knowing that he could lose his life, he says, "For me to live is Christ to live, and for me to die is only my gain." He says, in fact, the only problem he has here is the problem of desiring to stay and preach the gospel to them. Or he says it would be much better for him if God would go ahead and let Nero execute him, decapitate him, and take him on to glory.

All through this book, Paul is majoring on the good things, the good things and not his circumstances. Look, if you will, in chapter four, verse 11. Let me show you a word here that I want you to underline in your Bible. He says, look in verse 10, "But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at last you've revived your concern for me. Indeed you were concerned before, but you lacked opportunity. Not that I speak from want."

He says, "I'm not telling you this because I want anything, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am in." Now, if he were lying on the beach somewhere, all stretched out in the sun, saying, "Tell the folks at Philippi, I have learned that whatever state I'm in to be content," we wouldn't listen to that. But here's a man who is in prison, knowing that any moment he could be called before Nero and he could be executed in a matter of hours.

He could get all upset about then what's going to happen to all the churches, then what's going to happen to all these Christians, then what's going to happen to all these people I've shared my faith with, what's going to happen to the whole movement of Christianity if I lose my life? He's not fretting about that. Paul says, "I have learned that whatever state I find myself in, I am able now—" he hadn't always been that way.

He says, "Now I am able to be able to live independent of the circumstances around me." That is, his relationship to Jesus Christ, his focus upon the positive things that He has provided in his relationship to Him, makes it possible for him to have contentment. Doesn't mean that he liked his circumstances. It didn't mean that he liked where he was, and he certainly didn't enjoy being in prison. You see, Paul was just as human as you and I.

He had been God's instrument of starting the whole mission movement. Here he is in prison. He has lots of reasons to be frustrated, but he says, "I've learned not to pull my hair and bite my fingernails, not to walk up and down." How many Roman guards would he have won to Christ had he spent his time walking round and round and round and round in the prison complaining about God forgetting him?

But imagine what those guards must have felt, each one either chained to him or at least in the same room with him, and here he is, dictating, no doubt, this letter. And here's this Roman guard standing at attention, and this crazy fellow's talking about rejoicing, rejoicing, being glad. Roman soldiers knew the penalty. They knew that he could lose his head. They knew he could be crucified.

They knew all about atrocities; they were trained in committing them. And here he was talking about how he was content being in prison. And isn't it interesting what you and I complain about? We complain about getting a little cold or it being too warm, or not having exactly what we wanted for lunch or for dinner. We complain about the most ridiculous, uneventful, unimportant things in life, which says we let things frustrate us.

And I'm not telling you I'm an example of not being frustrated. I can name the things that frustrate me. I'm preaching this to myself as well as to you; I want you to understand that. But isn't it amazing what we let frustrate us? Paul says, "I've learned something." He says, "I've learned that whatever state I'm in to be content." I remember something that Bertha Smith—first time I ever met her, she was three steps ahead of me. She was about 83 then.

And I said to her, "Bertha, how do you walk so fast? How do you keep going all over the country you're going? 30 years a missionary in China, 10 years in Formosa." She said, "I don't go in my own strength; I go in the strength of the Lord." Said it about that fast. I never saw her get upset. I never saw her get frustrated. And I said, "How is it that you just keep putting up?" And I saw her in situations that would have certainly frustrated me.

I said, "How do you keep putting up with some of these things?" She said, "I just hand that to Him. I'm not frustrated. I don't allow myself to get frustrated." And I would just admire her and think, "Lord, I want to be able to look at life the way she does." Now, I'm learning some things, but there are some things I have yet to learn about being frustrated.

But as I kept reading this passage and thinking about what Paul said when he said, "I'm content," I couldn't wait to look up the real meaning of that word. Not from Webster, but from the context in which it was written. Being able to mentally and emotionally and spiritually live independent of the things which naturally, normally, and humanly frustrate, confuse, or I would consider to hinder me.

And I want you to see something. Now, watch this as we go through here because I want you to see what he learned that made him be able to say, "I'm content." All right. So he says in this 21st verse, he says, "For me to live is Christ to live. For me to die is for my gain." And then if you'll notice in the second chapter and the eighth verse, which is one of the most important passages in the whole Bible on the life of Christ, in this second chapter, he says—and I believe Paul would have said it this way.

I believe he said, "Here's what I'm learning." And that is, in verse five, "Have this mind in yourselves, which was also in Christ Jesus, who although He existed in the form of God, did not consider equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bondservant and being made in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross."

Now, here's what he was saying. Paul said, "I'm learning how to be a servant in whatever circumstance I find myself, even obedient in servitude, even if I know it means my death." You see, Paul had made a commitment in his life. Listen, the commitment he made had something to do with being able to live in a small circle totally surrounded by frustrating circumstances, but unmoved and unruffled by those circumstances. Because you see, his focus was upon the positive, his focus was upon God, and his focus was not upon his circumstances.

Guest (Male): Dr. Stanley's message today on In Touch reminded believers how important it is to keep your mind focused in the right direction. If you concentrate on God instead of your problems, you'll begin to see how He can use every situation for His glory. And if you need a little more help with this discipline, search the free resources on Intouch.org. To hear this message again, click on the link to Today on Radio.

And if you'd like to have a copy of Dr. Stanley's complete message, you can order online at the store. The title is *Learning to Live with Frustrations*. For all this and more, log on to Intouch.org. To call or text, the number is 1-800-INTOUCH. To write to us, address your letter to In Touch, Post Office Box 7900, Atlanta, Georgia, 30357. God is willing to enable us to serve Him in any situation. An illustration is coming up in today's Moment with Charles Stanley.

Guest (Female): Tired of faith feeling like a performance? Worn down by constant striving? Jesus never meant it to feel that way. His call was always to something more, to a life that's generous, vibrant, joyful, and sustainable. A real life with Him. That's the heart of *Follow Me*, our book created to help you answer that call. Get your copy at Intouch.org/store.

Guest (Male): Let your time and your schedule and everything about you revolve around this: that you and I are to develop and continue to develop this ongoing, intimate, wonderful, exciting, satisfying, indescribable, incomparable relationship with the personal God. Dr. Stanley devoted his entire life to helping us get closer to Jesus, as we all want to do, and also discover all that He has for us, helping us to be fully prepared for God's purpose in our lives. So are you ready for the next step in your journey? It begins at the Charles Stanley Institute. Bible-based, Christ-centered, Holy Spirit-filled instruction so you can know God and experience the abundant Christian life for which He created you. You can learn how at CharlesStanleyInstitute.org.

You're listening to In Touch. A believer can serve God in any situation. With an example from history, here's a Moment with Charles Stanley.

Dr. Charles Stanley: The lady who wrote, I believe, the most effective, powerful hymn in the whole hymn book when it comes to giving an invitation was Charlotte Elliott. 37 years bedridden. Wanted to serve the Lord more than anything else. The only thing I know about her is that she wrote "Just As I Am" without one plea.

She could have moaned and groaned and griped and become bitter toward God for putting her in the bed for 37 years. But she capitalized on her frustration, and most of us, I'll bet if the truth were known, who walked an aisle during an invitation, walked it when they were singing "Just As I Am" without one plea, but that Thy blood was shed for me.

And I want to ask you: how shall we respond to frustration? Shall we learn to rejoice in it? Shall we learn to dignify it for what it is and see it from where it's coming from? And will we allow God to show us how to capitalize on it to be a blessing to someone else? Learn more about living in God's strength for His glory and your neighbor's good at Intouch.org.

Did God speak to your heart through today's message? Tell us what you plan to do next. When In Touch continues next time, there's more to learn about thriving in difficult circumstances from the first chapter of Philippians. So I hope you'll join us again on In Touch, the teaching ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley.

Guest (Male): This program is a presentation of In Touch Ministries, Atlanta, Georgia, and remains on this station through the grace of God and your faithful prayers and gifts.