Marriage Divine Style
by Dr. John Barnett

For most of us, most of our life will be spent in marriage. What do you want those bulk of your years of life to be like? Do you want them to be hard times of tension, agony, frustration or pain? Or do you want them to be joyous and satisfying and the best years of your life?

The Choice Is Yours!

• If you are married as you are reading this, then what I am about to say is what you should BE.
• If you are young and at home as you are reading, then what I am sharing from God's Word is what you should BECOME.
• And if you are grown, and starting out in life as a single person, this is what you should BE and what you should LOOK FOR in your marriage.

Again, this is the biggest decision next to salvation you will ever make. Be careful, be expecting a blessing, and be blessed with a wonderful joyous biblical marriage.

Can I just share a short personal testimony? Growing up in Michigan as a child was delightful. We lived by a lake and fished all summer, had fish fries with most of our neighbors, enjoyed many fun moments as a family, at church. I even would walk from sweet older ladies who were great neighbors and who would give me cookies and hugs when I visited. That was life at five years old.

As the years passed and my perception of the world around me grew I began to notice the family next door was different. They could be heard at all hours screaming, banging, throwing things, and fighting. Then my parents explained that all that fighting meant that they were separating as a couple, and later they were divorced. Soon I noticed while making a family tree for my class at Haslett School, that my dad's mother, Grandma Barnett's name had changed to Grandma Miller as she had divorced my grandfather and I got a new one - Grandpa Miller. My mom's mother also stopped living with grandpa, her husband, moved in with my uncle, and lived there never seeing her husband again until the day of her death. After that, and most devastating of all, I also began to notice my mother crying, my dad raising his voice and saw that there was tension inside our own home and family. Welcome to the America I grew up in, in the 1950's!

What my family experienced is similar to some, vastly different than others. But, what I saw as the years passed, and as my exposure to God's Word grew -- caused me at a young age to start wanting with all my heart one of those wonderful marriages the Bible seemed to offer. In fact by my 10th birthday my parents had separated. My dad made a separate apartment for himself in the lower level of our home and only seemed to talk to my mom when they were angry. That sadness and tension and conflict drove me to the Psalms where many over the centuries have found comfort. My comfort became a prayer, "Lord, please let me have a home, a wife, and a family like Psalm 127 and 128 seems to promise."

That prayer never stopped. It adapted to my growing years, it was challenged by the fact that my parents chose to basically not share their lives for the entire time I watched them through all my youth, college and ministry.

I most distinctly remember walking through the back woods at BJU after my jogging miles were finished to cool down, and as I walked days, weeks, and months passed with the same prayer - "Lord don't let me go my own way. I only want to marry the one you have prepared for me. I want your will not mine!"

Well this morning after almost 20 years of shared life, may I testify that the Lord answered that prayer? He gave me a wonderful marriage, a wonderful wife, a wonderful family, and a wonderful home life. He gave what the text we are reading this morning describes: A Wonderful Biblical Marriage.

Please listen to what the Lord offers to each of you young people, to each of you singles, and most of all - to each of you married couples. Psalm 127-128.

Psalm 127:1-2 A biblical marriage starts with a divine foundation: Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the Lord guards the city, The watchman stays awake in vain. 2 It is vain for you to rise up early, To sit up late, To eat the bread of sorrows; For so He gives His beloved sleep.

Psalm 127:3-5 A biblical marriage trusts God for blessed fruitfulness: Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

Psalm 128:1-4 A biblical marriage enjoys a happy family life: Blessed is every one who fears the Lord, Who walks in His ways. When you eat the labor of your hands, You shall be happy, and it shall be well with you. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine In the very heart of your house, Your children like olive plants All around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed Who fears the Lord.

Psalm 128:5-6 A biblical marriage sees the promised fulfillment of a Godly family that is satisfying in old age: The Lord bless you out of Zion, And may you see the good of Jerusalem All the days of your life. Yes, may you see your children's children. Peace be upon Israel! And as the Apostle John said at the end of his life in 3 John 4 that the supreme earthly joy we can ever experience is when we see our family following the Lord! "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth."

What is a Biblical Marriage and Partner Really Like?

There are few words that can describe the sheer delights of a marriage as God designed it to be. The Lord planned for His people to have marriages described as:
§ Marriage is to be such wonderful attraction that seven years of hard labor waiting for this is like a moment (Jacob in Genesis 29:20),
§ Marriage is to be like a fruitful vine that delightfully grow around our lives (Psalm 128:3),
§ Marriage is to be like joyful rivers of intoxicating blessings (Proverbs 5:18-19),
§ Marriage is to be goodness and favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22), and
§ Marriage is to be to a companion of our youth (Malachi 2:14-15) to whom we make a life long covenant to.

All of us blessed in our marriages and families can testify what God's Word describes is exactly what we who have followed the Lord have experienced.
§ A Biblical marriage and family is just a small snapshot of the delights of Heaven.
§ A Biblical marriage and family is just a living portrait of the perfect love of Jesus.
§ A Biblical marriage and family is just a traveling demonstration of the way the Lord works on earth.

So, how do we pray for our children if we are parents? And how do we direct our lives if we are young people? And how do we live together if we are married today? Or what do we look for if we are single and waiting today? Here we go, into God's Word to find all the answers from the Author and establisher of Marriage Himself. Lets turn back to the 1st book of the Bible Genesis.

To Read or Hear these 8 Lessons on Marriage please copy and paste this link into your internet browser:

http://www.discoverthebook.org/sermons_read.asp?id=1264

Sunday, March 01, 2009