by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

Joshua 1:9
Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

At our house we have experienced plenty of failures, both great and small. For years, a meal without a spill was nothing short of miraculous. The milk may have gone shooting across the supper table or formed a lazy river that cascaded over the edge, splattering onto the floor. We've seen some classic spills: two simultaneously, four at one sitting, and one glass of chilled apple juice that spilled perfectly into Dennis's shoe (while he was wearing it). Our favorite phrase for the children became, "It's okay. Everybody makes mistakes."

One evening, I spilled my drink during dinner. A little hand patted my arm, and Rebecca (then a five-year-old) reassuringly said, "It's okay, Dad. Everybody makes mistakes."

When you give your mate the freedom to fail, you begin to remove the pressure to perform for acceptance. You free your mate to set aside his or her fear, to trust God. Failure then becomes a tutor, not a judge. In the presence of freedom, we learn from failures instead of being condemned by them.

For years, we talked about moving to the country. The thought of the children having room to roam sounded inviting, but moving a large family is a chore. More importantly, it was a risk. What if we didn't like driving back and forth to town? What if we didn't like being isolated from friends? So we put off the decision.

Then one day Barbara said, "So what if we decide we don't like it? We can sell and move back to town!" Her statement clicked; it gave me the freedom to make a decision-even a wrong one! We decided to try it, and we love it. It's important to note that the freedom to risk making a decision came only after we had given each other the freedom to fail.

Prayer:

That God will increase your faith to match the challenges you face, and that He will teach you how failures have helped you mature in Christ.

Discuss: Share what you would consider to be your greatest failure. How has that impacted your decision-making process today? Discuss a decision you are facing and how the fear of failure is influencing that decision.

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